I start a few summer classes on monday! I feel the strangest mix of excitement and fear. I am excited to start studying again and using my mind and learning… but I am also very afraid of failure. I’m going to take three classes this summer. Many people have been trying to tell me that that will be too much and too hard, and others have said things to the effect of “If you’re able to take three classes this summer than your injury wasn’t that big of a deal”. I am faced with the pressure of being expected to fail compounded with the pressure to not try TOO hard so as not to seem as though I am TOTALLY fine and still be allowed the resources I need to help my healing brain.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been advised against taking on a seemingly difficult or “overwhelming” course load… a year ago I was being told that it is impossible to take Physics, Calculus and Chemistry all at the same time, but I did it. It was not easy by any means, but I completed all three with relatively decent success and I am proud of proving to myself that I can achieve whatever I want. I am a strong subscriber to the belief system of going after everything and anything you want with unyielding passion, dedication, and determination. I believe that I can truly achieve anything I want if I put my all into it and work hard while others are sleeping. 8 months ago I was told I wouldn’t be walking or driving on my own for about 3-4 weeks after getting out of the wheelchair… the next day I got rid of one crutch, on the second day I threw away the other one and on the third day I got in the car and drove. 7 months ago I was told I would probably never be able to run again, and I’ve been running for 5 weeks now without bad pain or any injury. People have still been telling me that I won’t be able to run races or long distances… but next sunday I will be running a 5K in portsmouth, in october I will be running a half marathon, and in January I will be running a full marathon.
The only person who can stop me from achieving my goals is me. It’s easy to make excuses for why you can’t do this or that, or why you need to wait a little longer before you start something… but if you say “screw that”, throw yourself into what you want, and work longer and harder than anyone else, there is no other option but success. I know the road ahead of me will be difficult… I know there will be days where I want to give up and cry… I know there will be days where I do cry, but nothing worth doing comes easy, and nothing easy is worth doing. If something amazing was easy to obtain than it would no longer be amazing because everyone would have it. Life isn’t about being born with talents and attributes that just pave an easy path for you, life is about taking what you have and working your ass off to hone your skills and do something that amazes you.
Here is a clip of the inspiration to my belief system and the most incredible, successful human (in my humble opinion) on how hard he will work to achieve his goals. This is THE KEY to success in life.
Weight: 191.7 lbs
Waist: 37 ½ inches
Stomach 43 ½ inches
Hips: 42 ¼ inches
Thigh: 26 ¼ inches
Waist: 36 1/2
Stomach: 41 1/4
Thigh: 26 1/4